


This moment, it flickers

by hoons



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Impressions, First Meetings, Gen, Jakehoon to be soulmates, Jayhoon are besties but could be more, M/M, New Beginnings, One-Shot, Unrequited Love, im sorry heesunghoonists, sunghoon needs a hug, unrequited heeseunghoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoons/pseuds/hoons
Summary: Sunghoon is not having a good week.Jay just wants to be there for his best friend.And Jake?Jake is curious about the boy with swollen eyes, who sits across him.
Relationships: One-sided Lee Heeseung/Park Sunghoon, Park Jongseong | Jay/Park Sunghoon, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	This moment, it flickers

Sunghoon was not coping well. He was rejected by his first love, Heeseung. And it hurt.

More than watching Heeseung dating different people, and wondering, when could it be him instead. More than picking Heeseung up from every breakup, thinking that if it was him, he would never hurt Heesung like that.

It hurt most, in knowing that he could never have any chance with Heeseung. Heeseung who loved freely and willingly, would not love him.

Even though Sunghoon was right beside him all along.

“Sunghoon? Is something wrong? Its rare that you ask to meet up so late.” Heeseung asks as he settles at the swing beside Sunghoon. 

They’re in the playground where they used to go often as kids.

“Hyung, do you remember the times we spent together?”

“Of course! Ever since you moved here.” Heeseung smiles fondly, “I still remember the times where you were the shy kid and a head shorter than me. Now look at you we’re almost the same height!” 

Sunghoon turns to face him, grinning at the way Heeseung was gesturing excitedly. Even under the moonlight, Heeseung looked as handsome as ever. 

It's now or never.

“Heeseung-hyung….” Sunghoon begins, hands tightly gripping the chains, “I know it's sudden but I like you. I always have.” 

Heeseung’s eyes widened in shock. Before he looks down, a slight frown marring his forehead. 

Sunghoon feels his heart sink.

“Sunghoon-ah, I’m...sorry but I can’t accept your feelings for me.” Heeseung apologizes.

A wave of helplessness courses through Sunghoon, “Why? You...wouldn’t even give me a chance?” 

“Actually, I already have someone that I like. It really wouldn’t be right for me to lead you on.” 

So he had no chance from the start. 

Sunghoon looks down as he desperately tries to prevent the tears from welling up.

Heeseung moves to kneel in front of him, gently grabbing Sunghoon’s shoulders and continues, “Sunghoon, you will always take a special place in my heart but not in the way you want me to right now. But I know one day, there will be someone that will give you the love that you deserve.”

* * *

“Park Sunghoon if you don’t open the door right this seco-”

“Alright I’m coming.” Sunghoon yells hoarsely. He trudges to the entrance of his apartment and pulls the door open.

“You look horrible.” Jay deadpans the moment he sees him.

“Thanks Jay, that is just what I needed from you.” Sunghoon bites back, slumping back on his bed. 

Jay grins and joins him, gently laying Sunghoon’s head on his lap, while stroking his hair gently. Sunghoon, closes his eyes, thankful for the familiar comfort. Although others may doubt their friendship, citing that their personalities are too different. Sunghoon and Jay always had a special bond, built from their years of knowing each other. They’ve seen each other at their best and worst. 

At 14, when Jay started doubting himself and began picking fights with others until even his parents weren’t able to handle him, quiet, gentle Sunghoon was the one that knocked him back to his senses because he couldn’t stand to see his best friend become a shell of himself. The fight they had that day was legendary, and spread across the school like wildfire. While it cost them several injuries and 3 days of suspension, it was worth it, and Jay would forever be grateful to Sunghoon for it.

When Sunghoon’s parents decided to move to New Zealand 2 years ago despite Sunghoon’s wishes. Jay was the one that earnestly convinced them to let Sunghoon stay in Korea, promising to take care of him. He would come over every so often to make sure that Sunghoon was never lonely and that he was eating properly, knowing his tendency to neglect himself during the competition season. It was both the accumulation of big and little things they did for one another and their shared experiences that made them who they were today.

“You know, I’m glad actually,” Jay murmurs, voice uncharacteristically soft, “that you can finally move on from your feelings for Heeseung-hyung. I’ve seen you suffer so much through the years yet you always seemed so determined to hold on to it. You know how stubborn you can be. But Sunghoon, it’s time to let go, you deserve someone better, that loves you for who you are.”

 _But who would love me?_ The thought rises unbidden.

Sunghoon clamps it down. 

“I knew that didn’t feel the same way. I guess...I just hoped that he would give me a chance. I probably would need more time before I get over it but...thank you Jay, for being here.” Sunghoon twists to wrap his arms around Jay’s torso. 

Jay pinches his cheek gently, “Always, like you have for me.” 

He glances at his watch “You should start getting ready for the freshmen welcoming dinner. It's starting soon.”

“Can I not go?” Sunghoon whines. 

“Nope.” Jay replies decisively, dragging Sunghoon from the bed “We’ve missed most of the activities already so we definitely can’t miss this as well and it’ll be a good distraction for you. Now go get ready, I’ll give you ten minutes.”

Sunghoon stares at himself in front of the mirror, wincing at how haggard he looks, the result of the past two days of moping at home. With a heavy sigh, he grabs a mask and cap before heading out. 

As they head down, they spot a familiar figure. 

“Why is Heeseung-hyung here?” Sunghoon hisses pulling the brim of his hat down.

“I thought he left already. I purposely came late in case I ran into him on the way to get you.” Jay replies.

“Jay, Sunghoon I’ve been waiting for you guys, let’s go together, I’ll drive.” Heeseung smiles brightly as he beckons them over.

The ride to the gathering was not as bad as it could have been, with Jay taking the initiative to monopolize Heeseung’s attention while Sunghoon sat quietly in the backseat.

_He doesn’t seem affected at all. Unlike me._

* * *

The first time Jake met Sunghoon was during the freshmen welcoming party.

“Jake, you should drink more!” A senior exclaims as she fills up his glass once more.

Jake accepts the glass while bowing slightly, grimacing at the pounding in his head that has been steadily growing since he stepped into the restaurant. The air is stuffy from the heat of the grill and being filled to the brim with freshmen and seniors alike, their voices clamoring over the trendy music playing in the restaurant.

Sunoo discreetly nudges him, “Jake-ah are you ok? Don’t drink anymore if you can’t take it. Aish, why do they keep forcing drinks on you.”

“It’s obviously because he’s handsome. Have you seen the way the sunbaes are eyeing him like wolves. Our poor Jakey, too charming for his own good.” Nicholas chimes in from the other side, slinging his arm over to ruffle Jake’s hair.

“Urgh, stop teasing me Nicholas, you’ve had just as many drinks as me. It's only because of your high alcohol tolerance that you can still not feel anything.” Jake grumbles as he rests his head on Sunoo’s shoulder.

“You guys, always fighting like kids,” Sunoo sighs. “Anyway I'm so curious as to how the legendary Heeseung sunbae looks like. Everyone has been raving about him since the day we entered the university. I can’t believe we will finally see him tonight!” Sunoo exclaims excitedly.

At this moment, the entrance to the restaurant opens and three figures bundled up in coats enter.  
“Heeseung-oppa! You’re here!”

“Sunbae! We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Heeseung-ah what took you so long.”

The restaurant seemed to suddenly be alight with energy as they called out greetings to the long awaited Heeseung. 

“Sorry guys haha, I was caught in the traffic with my hoobaes.” Heeseung replies, smiling apologetically he turns to whisper something to the both of them before leaving to join a table.

The two other latecomers scan the packed restaurant for an empty seat before landing in their direction. Sunoo, the social butterfly of their group waves them over.

“Hi, I'm Jay, a freshman.” One of them greets pulling his cap off. He has an intimidating look which is immediately tempered by his playful grin, “we promise we aren’t always tardy.”

“Hello, I’m Sunghoon, a freshman too.” The other introduces his voice slightly hoarse and muffled behind the mask.

 _He’s been crying._ Is the first thing Jake notices.

His eyes were swollen and circled with dark eyebags.

“Nice to meet you guys. The three of us are freshmen as well. I’m Sunoo, and they’re Jake and Nicholas. I don’t think we’ve seen you guys around these past few days.”

“That's right. I’ve was in a hip hop dance competitionー”

“You dance? I do too!” Nicholas chimes in and begins chatting enthusiastically with Jay.

“That’s Nicholas for you, he can talk for hours about dance.” Sunoo sighs fondly, getting up from his seat, “I’ll be heading to the washroom for a bit.” 

Jake nods and glances at Sunghoon, biting his lips nervously as he scrambles to find a conversation topic. 

“What were you busy with during the past few days?”

“I was in a figure skating competition.” Sunghoon replies softly fiddling with his mask as he turns to face Jake.

“Wow, that’s really amazing! You must have practiced a lot since you were young.” Jake exclaims. 

Sunghoon smiles faintly and looks down, clenching his hands together “It's nothing much really. There are many other skaters that are better than me.”

“Oh, still you must be great for doing it all these years.”

“Yeah. Wouldn’t you know.” Sunghoon replies tersely, with more bite than he intended.

It feels like a dismissal.

The conversation halts, and they sit in awkward, silence amidst the cheers around them.

_I guess he must have had a bad week._

“I’ll go out for a while to get some air.” Jake mumbles, avoiding Sunghoon’s eyes as he leaves his seat. 

The cold air meets him. Settling on a bench, Jake closes his eyes and breathes it in, slowly massaging his throbbing temple. He doesn’t know how long he sits there when he feels someone join him.

Its Sunghoon.

“I’m sorry for responding to you like that.” Sunghoon begins. “I….I had a bad week.” I didn’t make it to the podium for the competition I went for, and I was rejected by the person I love...no loved my whole life. Pathetic isn’t it?” He chuckles deprecatingly.

Under the flickering street lamp, Sunghoon faces upwards, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Jake hesitates, before slowly placing his hand on Sunghoon’s back, patting him gently, offering a silent form of comfort.

They sit again in silence, but it feels less oppressive this time, comforting even. Their breaths fading into the night sky.

“Sunghoon? We’re planning to leave soon. Are you ready to go.” Jay calls out from the entrance of the restaurant.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Sunghoon replies.

He turns and presses a bag to Jake’s hands, “Thank you, Jake and I’m sorry. I hope to see you around sometime,” his puffy eyes curling into small crescents before he walks back to where Jay is waiting.

Jake turns to wave both of them goodbye. He feels the bag in his hands and opens it curiously.

Painkillers and a pack of instant hangover soup.

He smiles, feeling a growing warmth in his chest.  _ Maybe he isn’t so bad after all. _

**Author's Note:**

> If you've reached to this point thank you so much! This is my first ever fic so I was really nervous about posting this. Please feel free to leave any comments, I would love to hear from you!


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